I know what you’re thinking. What the hell is a fat hero? You’re going to find out, and let me just tell you, it is amazing. Carlos Dattoli, a magnificent, magnificent artist, did a series recently where he re-imagined some of your favorite heroes as they might have looked like had they…let themselves go a bit.
#1 – TMNToomuchpizza
I’d ask where Master Splinter is in this piece, but I worry Donatello might have gotten hangry waiting for the pizza delivery guy to arrive. They’ll definitely have to expand the Turtle Van a bit.
#2 – Fatastic Four
I loved writing that title.
I’ve never wanted to see Mr. Fantastic use his powers so badly. As a DC guy, I don’t typically put much stock in Stan Lee’s characters. But Dattoli’s rendition has me wondering. What do you think Dr. Doom looks like?
#3 – The Justice League – B(f)atman and Friends
I have never seen Superman held up by a crane, or the Flash on a seque. Never really wanted to, but God this is so funny. And Robin’s thighs? You could build a new Krypton on those bad boys.
#4 The Fatvengers
I have many questions. Here are the most important ones
- Is fat-spiderman Toby McGuire or Andrew Garfield? Is fat Kirsten Dunst/Emma Stone okay with him being in the avengers?
- How is Thor both horribly overweight and yet somehow still chiseled?
- Is Bruce Banner fat pre-Hulk, or does he put on the weight to fight crime?
#5 XXL Men
For this one, it is the little things that got me. I could take the fast-food bags in the background, I get Wolverine’s onion ring claws.
But Gambit has donuts on his bo staff. That is the single most ironic thing since Kanye’s Gold Digger in light of his recent request for money. Bo staffs are reserved for dextrous characters across the board, comics, Dungeons & Dragons, video games all across the world. That Gambit not only continues to use his bo staff as an incredibly fat person but uses it to hold his pastries is overwhelmingly hilarious.
Dattoli, I salute you sir.